It's time to square away with your negativity.
I recently commented on a website I’ve been visiting—well, more like lurking around—for years. I took a risk in expressing my unpopular opinion, and within fifteen minutes, the name-calling began. Sure, the decision to press publish on my comments in that particular environment was a grave miscalculation—I’ll own that. (It’s interesting to note, though, that my feelings on this particular issue were so strong that I finally got the courage to comment.)
What’s more troublesome, however, was my inability to sleep after pressing "publish." A tidal wave of negativity and staccato stream of angry thoughts yanked my drooping eyes and sleepy mind back to restlessness.
I was stuck in the infinite loop.
Can you relate? Negative self-talk (“I shouldn’t have had that bagel; I am going to be the fattest girl at the bachelorette party. Ugh, and everyone will see what a cow I am on instagram!”) and reinforcing self-doubt (“The other associates are so much smarter than I am. Why am I here? I’m a total fraud!”) do nothing but damage our self-esteem, productivity, and happiness. The good news? That damage is stoppable and, daresay, reversible. So, how did I (and how can you) break the cycle?
It’s easy: get square.
That’s right, break the loop by going square. Square breathing is nothing new—you can read about it here. I’ve found it super effective in rising above negativity, cultivating patience and calm, and getting to sleep when I just can’t count any more sheep.
Square breathing is easy, portable, and customizable. Take a look at the diagram below. The breath cycle is broken up into four equal segments: inhale to inflate the belly, hold the breath, exhale by contracting the navel in towards the spine, and hold the exhale.
The one, two, three, and four of square breathing.
Customize square breathing by pairing it with a mantra. Some of my favorites:
“I am happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Try this once for each of the four segments.
“Sat nam.” (Truth is my identity.) Try “sat” for the inhale and first hold, and “nam” on the exhale and second hold.
“Good orderly direction.” Try this phrase in its entirety for each of the four segments.
Feel free to try your own mantra. If phrases aren’t your thing, a simple “1–2–3–4” for each segment will do.
Remember, you can try this in the office, on the train, in the waiting room, under the covers, or 36,000 feet above the Atlantic when you're contemplating a skydive due to your neighbor's incessant armrest hogging.
Next time you’re caught in the vortex of negativity, no matter where you are, free yourself with square breathing. Let me know how it goes. Leave your experiences, tips, and mantras in the comments below.